seaQuest: Knight of Shadows

It's This One. The one with the ghosts on the sunken ship. The point at which the show completely gives up one of its major conventions. You could sort of look past the psychics in Treasures of the Mind since their powers were handled vaguely. They just "felt" things like TV psychics claim to do while playing twenty questions. That's not too big a deviation from reality. Next season, the new doctor will find a hair piece that turns her into Jean Grey, but at this point the show had been trying to maintain scientific plausibility. Here's where it goes straight to hell for a generic ghost story.

You know, I can see the problem for the writers. The ship can't plausibly go to a planet of the week and meet the new set of metaphor-driven crinkly foreheads. Without that, what do you have? This was probably written in late '92. At the time, doing a story arc on weekly TV was very uncommon unless it involved rich women clawing each other in the pool. If they'd gone that way, the show probably could have managed with the more mundane arrangement. You don't have to invent wonder particles or the planet next door to justify having something happen. But it would have demanded they think out their world a lot more too. My dim memories of season three (which I don't think I'm buying unless it's really cheap) suggest that they finally woke up to that too late.

Ok. I guess it's time to turn the thing on. Come, let us mock together.

Originally Aired: October 31, 1993

Cheesy generic black photo album. Bridger is looking at shots of his wife and his dolphin. He takes one of his wife out and talks to it before shoving it into the scanner like Lucas suggested six or seven episodes ago. He's telling the image of his wife "a love story". He's trying to explain it in terms of temporary insanity.

Flashback. He's in bed the night previous. Bridger has a big wooden bookcase in his room. He's reading a book and the mist curtain comes on. The professor is giving him directions. Bridger gets up to take a look. He plays with the controls. No response. The directions keep repeating.

He phones Lucas. Lucas is sleeping in a seaQuest t-shirt.
"Lucas, the hologram is babbling."
"So?"

Lucas says he didn't do anything. Bridger wants him to come over and look at it in the middle of the night. While he waits for Lucas he pages through what looks like it's supposed to be a ship's- nope, charts. A ghostly hand reaches out, touches him, and a woman's voice asks Bridger to help them.

He says what and Lucas, in a rainbow-striped bathrobe, asks what. He looks at the controls. Bridger had the repeat key locked. They have the usual conversation where Lucas asks if he's ok. Bridger is fine. He turned off the mist curtain, but now it's back on and showing a woman asking for helm. A man's translucent face rises up and tells Bridger to get away. It shoots out of the mist and knocks him across the room.

When Lucas came into the room he was hitching his robe closed. Did he have it dangling open the whole way over? If he wanted to be covered (and in a t-shirt why does he need to be covered?) wouldn't he have seen to that before he left home? Did he forget to put on underwear? Honestly, if the kid sleeps in a t-shirt, he's probably covered all the important stuff too.

Credits. Extended credits with thunder and lightning. Wisconsin had a cheese shortage in '93. IT was all here.

Bridger is telling Westphalen about how he woke up strangely invigorated. She's dabbing at his back. She tells him that he fell out of bed. He was not hurled by a ghost. Bridger wants a meeting with some scientist who does hypnotic regression. It's the scientist from last episode. He's asking about the vision.

Ford wants to know where they're going and why. This is his only scene all episode.

The scientist, Levine, is Freuding about the vision. Bridger says he wasn't dreaming. O'Neil is getting music, which Bridger wants to hear. Generic spooky music ensues. It wasn't Bridger's wife. Ortiz is getting an echo on sonar. It's a ship! The CGI shows a choppy outline of a ship. That's good bad CGI for once. I can buy a sonar display putting out something like that. Then they get visusals and Bridger wants to send the probe in. This gives Hitchcock something to do, but her breasts aren't out so I think the writers got confused. CGI of a WHSKR running around a CGI shipwreck even though Hitchcock uses those controls pictured to use the hyper-reality probe.

Ward room. Crocker is explaining the story of the Titanic, er, George, about how the ship slowly sank and only two people died. Bridger is complaining that a life boat would not have made it six hundred miles in two days and there was this woman. Krieg (he's senior staff? Lucas I can sort of buy as a special dispensation, but the morale officer?).

They put up a newsreel. It's the woman from Bridger's vision and she's the owner's wife. Another guy in the newsreel looks directly at the cast for a second. As they break up, the paused video has the bad guy turn and look at Bridger and Westphalen again.

Hallway. They just got out of the maglev. Lucas is wearing his baseball jersey, white, over a gray t-shirt. Jeans. Why is he with them?

Bridge. Hitchcock is expositioning about how the stacks are covered and sealed so some stuff inside might have air in it. There's also a light on inside. Crocker spits and declares the ship haunted. Crusty, superstitious sailors are never wrong on TV. Westphalen asks what was said by the ghost and Bridger conveys the "help us" line. Lucas gets a reaction shot.

Lucas's room. He's in the dark with a flashlight under his face goofing off. Doctor Levine wants him to come along to the shipwreck, which isn't at all endangering a minor. Lucas is game. Levine gravely tells him that they're entering a world where logic and science do not apply and all we have to depend on is myths and superstition? How did this guy get his PhD? What is it in? He was a geneticist or an epidemiologist last episode. Did Levine send away for his doctorate to a place advertised during an episode of Unsolved Mysteries?

I paused right here to type that all up because I'm sure the next dialog is even worse. Right now Lucas is frozen with his mouth half-open and looking terrified. The collar on his shirt is very wide. Until now his clothing has usually fit. Wouldn't this run afoul of some navy regulation? I guess myths and superstitions are all we have to decide with.

Lucas was apparently not stunned and instead amused. He proclaims this very cool. I'm guessing this is on the level of a carnival ride for him, so I can buy it. Lucas doesn't so far come across as gullible enough to buy that spiel normally. Bridger explains that Lucas is coming along as a bodyguard. Because he has a whole boat of heavily-armed soldiers trained for combat, so an untrained blonde teenaged boy with an IQ in the stratosphere is the logical protector for them all.

Levine explains that in many legends (Is his doctorate in folklore?) that children are immune to the effects of the paranormal. Apparently because they're the most likely to believe in it without help. Lucas protests that he is not a child. Bridger smirks. "We know you're not a child, but you're the closest thing we have to one."

Lucas: "You two really believe this boat is haunted?" He's dubious and I think wondering about the advisability of letting a man like Bridger have control of nuclear weapons. By the way, in the real world field commanders usually have to get the ok from a head of state and a secretary of defense to launch.

Bridger: "Yes...I don't know what that means, but we feel we have to pursue it." He talks about how this is what science is all about and...ok. Sort of. I don't think many real scientists would waste a lot of time on Crocker's sea tales, except for the one about this brothel in Panama that he can neither confirm nor deny.

Tiny minisub with no changing room. No one has changed clothes, but Lucas is wearing a jean jacket over his jersey. They dock with the wreck, seal, and open up. At this point, Westphalen remembers that oxygen under pressure for a century might be dangerous. They could get the bends. She has badges to let them know if the air goes bad. Oh, they had to cut through a lock.

Levine tells them to keep imaging the white light of their aura all around them. What if they don't have white auras? Bridger confirms the air is safe. Crocker demands he spit before he goes in. So do the other sailors. Lucas's jacket is his seaQuest denim shirt which was normal clothing, not outerwear, a few episodes ago.

Hitchcock wants Bridger to see the generator. Turns out it's been rigged to provide power. They also have membranes set up to extract oxygen. As Westphalen talks about this the machines come to life and she freaks out when she sees a skeleton. Turns out it's a guy that shot himself through the head. Crocker says suicide on a ship is really dangerous. Bridger offers to let him wait on the launch.

Levine explains that spirits hang around to finish past business. Hitchcock gets sent off to a lower deck so they don't have to pay her for the rest of the week.

Stateroom on the wreck. Westphalen isn't feeling well.

Lower decks, Hitchcock foils their plans by showing up again in the episode. She finds a flooded cabin with a skull floating in it. The porthole has been sealed with candle wax. Two bodies, maybe part of the band. So far they're up to four people who were not on the ship's manifest.

A door opens beside Lucas after Crocker checks it and finds it closed. White fabric is pulled just out of sight from the door. Westphalen is yanked in and there's a ghost in a white dress. They try to open the door, but the handle was on fire. Now it's not and it's cold for Bridger.

Inside. Westphalen approaches the ghost and it vanishes. Male ghost claims she is meddling with forces she can't comprehend. Male ghost expositions about how they need to go. It knocks Westphalen over and she finds a diary or something. He explains that this is his personal hell and is about to hit her when he sees the diary open. Cheesy FX of lightning play over the ghost's body. He reads in the diary "I hate him!" and starts howling in despair. Everyone hears and then the door is blown open.

They help Westphalen up and she's calling it "her" diary now. Crocker is spreading salt. Lucas wants to know why, and it's to keep the devils away. They spit for good luck.

Westphalen is speaking of the ghost in the first person and crying. Lucas is paging through the diary. He notices that the diary entry for hating the ghost is a year and a half after the ship sank. Lucas has a baseball cap on backwards. Bridger somehow knows that the diary is for the woman he saw. He reads about how the author met a man that caused her to swoon by appearing.

Levine is the only one to catch on that Westphalen is possessed still and tells Bridger. He's supposed to be a scientist and he didn't notice before?

Hitchcock phones that the engine room is a wreck and seems deliberately flooded. Bridger wants to go down, but asks Lucas to stay close to Westphalen. She comes out in the ghost's dress and asking to be zipped up. She hears music. Crocker doesn't want Bridger off on his own, probably because he needs a hug. Bridger goes anyway.

Hallway. Lights go off and the male ghost tells him to get away. Bridger blows him off. New hallway is lit green and has fog in it like an 80s music video. Manghost wails and howls and comes forward out of the mist. It demands Bridger get off its ship. Bridger stands and says no. Lights come up. Ghost vanishes but says Bridger's name. Then it chuckles after demanding he leave again. Ghostman isn't all that stable.

Bridger finds Hitchcock and tells him the way. Bridger doesn't buy it and opens one of the "locked" doors easily. That's supposed to be the ghost, but I think Hitchcock is just dumb. Dining room now. Somebody is laid out on the table, the engineer. Bridger says the others must have been stowaways. Hitchcock checks out a dance card with one Lillian booked in it. An epitaph written on paper explains who the stiff is.

Bridger phones for Crocker to read the diary. Westphalen starts echoing it and stands up. She walks out and Crocker and Lucas follow. Crocker is still reading from the diary even as Westphalen recites. They reach a door and she faints. Crocker could have held the phone to her face. They're outside the captain's door now and it's bleeding. Looks like chocolate syrup.

Levine explains that this is the spirit's safe place. The blood is a manifestation of fears. Crocker is fed up and tries the door. It burns him. "That's a much better trick."

Lucas is reading the diary and expositions about how the captain sunk the ship, for Lillian apparently. Bridger wants in the room. He tries the burning handle, and it lights off before he touches it. He tries again, more fire. there's a bad rushing gas noise when it lights up. Crocker suggests Lucas burn his hand. Lucas is not thrilled about the prospect. Bridger says they need the ship's log. Lucas drops a log in his jeans. Brandis gives us that weird open-mouthed expressin again and reaches out. The handle does not burn him. It looks like makeup was hiding a little bit of acne on his temple.

He opens the door and steps in, then flames rise up behind him in a big wall and he does the usual recoiling from it thing. The door slams shut and he's inside with fire all around and manghost. Possessed Westphalen wanders off and Crocker goes with. Bridger wants to know if Lucas is ok and Lucas yells that he's ok. he found the log book. The fire is real, but nowhere near Jonathan Brandis. You can tell in the profile shots.

Manghost submits. Tells Lucas to tell Bridger to go to the ball room. Lucas stares down the ghost and the fires go out. He soberly takes the log. Manghost explains he didn't know about the stowaways. Lucas explains how manghost kept Lillian and her guy on the ship. Lil's guy died without guilt and was free to pass on. Lil is stuck here by her guilt too. Manghost doesn't know why Lil is guilty.

The two of them establish the escape clause to end the haunting. Manghost apparently never thought to ask Lil to let him go. Lucas suggests asking.

Ball room. Bridger walks in on Westphalen waltzing by herself. Another person is laid out in a white dress. Must be Lil. Bridger confirms it. Westphalen is just dancing randomly. I think Stephanie Beecham knew how to waltz because it looks fairly real. Bridger asks why she's here. She can't leave. Bridger asks if her hatred is keeping her here. She says it's manghost, who just arrived with Lucas in tow.

Manghost doffs his hat and tells Lilcorpse he never wanted it to be this way. He releases her to go to her guy. Then he touches the corpse and asks to be forgiven. Translucent Lil rises from the corpse and forgives. Manghost thanks her.

A white light descends from the ceiling and her guy has arrived, in black and white, to pick her up. She goes to him. They kiss. Now he's in color. Lil's guy beckons for manghost and he goes. They're beamed up. Westphalen groans in pain and notices their bad air badges are lit up. They all take their inhalers (sports bottles with mouthpieces) and suck once.

Epilogue. Bridger reads the log to his wife's hologram to explain the plot. Then he turns it off. Pan across the floor. Bridger's bad air badge turns red and manghost laughs.

That was the most pointless episode to date. Not a second of actual tension. The cast just walked into a play starring other people and played with special effects for an hour. Terrible. It's a bad gothic romance that fits the series not at all. We learn nothing about anybody we should be caring about except that Levine (a recurring redshirt) reads ghost stories and Crocker is superstitious. Given how much a stock character Crocker is, that's not news. What were they thinking? Wait! Don't tell me:

Originally Aired: October 31, 1993