Originally aired: October 9, 1993
This is the "funny" episode. A lot of shows have one in their first season when they're trying things out to see what the cast and writers can pull off. Shows set in small towns usually have a Picket Fences weirdness story. Shows with brainy characters do a mystery. But everybody does humor. Usually not that well unless the cast and writers have a lot of experience.
A UEO efficiency expert, an overweight black man, comes on board. His job is to make sure seaQuest is up to standards. This involves a lot of timed drills, and he's just looking for excuses to write them up. Ford and Bridger hate him and don't make it easy. Ford deliberately delays a rescue drill so the time is six seconds from missing an excellent grade just to show him up. Bridger tries to prove his manliness. This leads to the efficiency expert claiming he has the buttocks of a sixteen year old boy. Seriously. He invites Bridger to touch it and see for himself. If he were actually hitting on Bridger that would be awesome, but it's 1993. He's not.
Meanwhile, Krieg is out studying for his sea crab piloting test when he gets caught by a giant squid and thrown around. He comes up right and discovers these glowing gemstones on the sea floor, like nothing anybody has ever seen before. Certainly not the props guys that made them out of quartz with a light bulb stuck inside. Krieg instantly thinks these are worth a fortune. They'll replace diamonds in wedding rings. He enlists a few pals to help him with the extraction, which quickly leads to everyone but Bridger, Ford, and Captain Buttocks the Efficiency Expert knowing and wanting in.
It all falls apart when they do a lights-out drill and Bridger, Ford, and the Buns of Steel catch Lucas running through the halls trying to hide the goods. But then a giant squid attacks the boat. Krieg's giant squid. Turns out it's attracted to their lights and they use a probe to lure it away. Krieg sells the stones to Captain Buns. Westphalen discovers afterwards that they're actually giant squid feces and they'll stop glowing in a day or two.
If that sounds dumb, it is. It has some funny character moments and Lucas gets some good lines, but it's not a good episode at all. I flat out don't believe that a whole ship would go as crazy as they did over a legally dubious claim to a rock of questionable value. Not all pretty stones are worth a lot. If the stones secreted some chemical that lowered inhibitions or something, I could believe they were all getting high off the things.
In the end, Bridger only punishes Krieg this time. Despite the fact that Lucas was a willing, eager co-conspirator. Taking these two episodes together it seems like Lucas's only sin was not being sucked into profiteering. Way to raise a kid, Bridger.
This is the end of the first disk of season one, by the way.
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3 comments:
There are times, when watching a series back-to-back, you notice the flaws you didnot see when it aired on a weekly schedule.
After reading your reviews, Midnight, of the last two episodes, I'm even more grateful I never got into the series.
BTW, just a note: You write very eloquently, with great command of structure and sentence construction. Or, you write beyond your age.
I'm enjoy reading your blog, I guess is what I'm saying.
Be cool, my Midnight Roamer blog buddy.
"After reading your reviews, Midnight, of the last two episodes, I'm even more grateful I never got into the series."
I'd still probably watch them again too. I don't hate it at all; it's just a little silly, a little clunky, and sometimes a lot stupid. I realized earlier that I've never actually seen the whole first episode with the aliens. We were in another town (I want to blame it on Kim's mother, but I really don't remember anymore.) and only got back in time for the last five minutes.
"BTW, just a note: You write very eloquently, with great command of structure and sentence construction. Or, you write beyond your age."
Both of my parents really loved language. Written expression was a big priority. It's all their doing. :)
Really very nice post....It is a so beautiful Post.
Katni Grey Sandstone
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